Influenced and Overwhelmed

Have you ever had a specific product on your wishlist because you saw it on instagram…and you love it but don’t buy it. And the person keeps posting about it day after day after day. You finally justify it and find a way to make it happen, because you obviously NEED this thing.

The “Out for Delivery” email hits your inbox and you’re EXCITED. The day has come. Ultimate joy and peace and fulfillment……….right? RIGHT?! 😰

For me, it was my Breville Espresso Machine. It looks gorgeous in my little coffee station, I just love it. The coffee is actually delicious and—to this day—I much prefer making a maple latte at home than buying one from a coffee shop. I wanted this for years and it was finally in my kitchen! 

That thing was over $500. And I fully enjoy it. I love making coffee for friends and family when they come over, I make Chris coffee every morning and it truly brings me joy to serve them. 

But this was an eye opening purchase for me…

It didn’t actually bring me fulfillment…and it was scary to think that I felt like I NEEDED it. It's also way more time consuming than the good ol' drip coffee machine. Am I glad I have it? Sure. But it actually requires way more time and energy—I'm not sure about other moms, but I don't have this hidden supply of excess time and energy. I allowed myself to be influenced into adding MORE to my plate.......sigh.  

Contentment has always been something I have to consciously work on. This world makes it HARD to not want the next big thing. The nicer car, the newest phone, the bigger house…the perfect dreamy homestead nestled in the rolling hills with pastured chickens and a dairy cow 😜 I want it ALL! It's a good thing to be a dreamer, but it is possible to have an unhealthy intention behind it.

Here’s the BIG one that seems to be a common theme all over social media:

The do-it-all, perfectly-poised homeschool mom with an immaculate homeschool set-up. She teaches patiently and efficiently, prepares three home-cooked meals a day (infinite snacks included, of course), does all the cleaning herself and looks drop dead gorgeous while doing it. Her kids are well-behaved, they never push back and BEG her to start lessons every morning. Oh, did I mention she’s a business owner?! She does everything exceptionally well, has unlimited mental capacity and makes no mistakes. Picture. Perfect.

I’ll be the first to admit that I get influenced by these things... 

It happened again a couple of years ago. I wanted this adorable unit study homeschool curriculum when Kennedy was in pre-k…because my four-year-old daughter definitely wants hand painted flash cards and 80 little bees just for fun that I would have to PRINT AND CUT OUT ONE BY ONE. I bought it with our Charter funds before I knew I needed to do it all myself. It probably would have been 40 hours of prep work. Once again—adding more to my plate that was already at capacity.

But the Instagram marketing was solid, you guys. It got me—hook, line, and sinker. 

This seems to suck moms in (not just me, right?!)—Pinterest, social media Influencers—we naturally just love beautiful things. Wanting our homes to be beautiful and aesthetically pleasing is part of how we’re wired. Our homes are the place where we cater to our families and create the cozy atmosphere where we can relax and spend quality time. There’s nothing wrong with that. 

When it affects your peace, diminishes family time, makes you feel like a failure—that’s when it becomes an issue that might need some reflection and recalibrating.

Homeschooling can feel so incredibly overwhelming with the massive amount of options and add-ons. Let’s be honest here, a TON of these things are luxuries—not necessities. You can start small. We can use those social media influencers as inspiration, but not to compare ourselves to or adopt as our own standard.

Comparison really is the thief of joy. And ultimately, what our kids need above all else is our time and attention. They thrive in true connection with us, it’s one of the most basic needs we require as humans!

To end this on a positive note, I want to share an organizational tool that Chris and I have used for our family that has really helped us prioritize necessities over luxuries. Necessities for some might be luxuries for others! It's eye-opening to see what matters most and makes it easier to take action on the things that REALLY matter. 

This can be applied to any expense subject, really. It can be geared toward things to-do or things to buy. We use the Apple Reminders App that comes as a default on iPhones, but you can do this anywhere. You can add a collaborator so you and your spouse can work on it together!

These are things that are on my personal list—it’s going to look different for everyone based on your family values and goals. Use it as a template!

Make a list with three sections (ours is all in one list but you could also separate them like this):

Homeschool List

• Need to Buy:
  Curriculum
  Bookshelf
  Binder
  Planner

• Should Buy:
  Morning basket activities/supplies
  Horseback Riding Lessons (this is higher on our priority list because it's important to OUR family for our own reasons.)

• Want to Buy:
  Fancy easel and Canvas
  1000 piece acrylic paint set (exaggerating a little here but you get the point)

Home Improvement List

• Need to Buy:
  Passport Renewal
  Air filter replacements
  Appliance repair

• Should Buy:
  Generator
  Guest room bedframe
  Security cameras

• Want to Buy:
  Fire pit
  Throw pillows
  Non-toxic Candle by Mullen Design Co...lol 

To wrap this up—I want to encourage you to make it a point to seek peace on this journey homeschooling and joining a pod. We might change our strategies every year in an effort to pinpoint the most effective learning style or the most productive daily rhythm. Change is inevitable, and if you welcome the challenges with some grit—growth will also be inevitable. Not one family will do it the same way as another family. Customize this experience to best serve YOUR family and your values. This is a blank canvas of sorts and we can take advantage of that.

Cheers to managing our expectations, giving ourselves grace, and making room for course-correcting where it’s needed. 

We don’t need to overcomplicate it!